Stilettos 2 Chuck Taylors

Running the Race, Just in a Different Place

(Originally written January 2011)

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. (Philippians 3:12-14 MSG)

My goals haven’t changed since the summer of 2008 when I rededicated my life to Christ.  My goals to love God,  reach people far from God, and serve the local church.  How I have learned to love God and have a relationship with Him has changed and matured.  How I reach people far from God has spanned from teaching children in children’s ministry to planning conferences.  Serving the local church has changed locations, but my heart to serve the people at the local church is still the same.

Now, what has changed though, is what I wear on my feet as I’m off and running.  Stilettos, pumps, heels..whatever you want to name them have always been my footwear of choice.  I’m not sure the 4inches added to my height helped me press on toward my goals any faster or stronger, but I loved mixing and matching some of the greatest stilettos I’ve ever seen to run my race.

The race I run, goals the same, has changed terrain from Chicago to Nashville.  I am pressing on to love God and build my relationship with Him; to reach people far from God and serve my local church (Oasis).  The race I’m running has also changed pace and speed, but I’m realizing through prayer that the quality and impact is just the same.

What’s different?  My feet-errr…what’s on my feet.  A woman came up to me at church on Sunday and said, “I saw some really cool Chuck Taylor sneakers and immediately thought of you”.  Whoa…this was a moment of truth for me.  The shoes on my feet are Converse Chuck Taylors…silver ones, sequence ones; shiny and fun none the less, but they are maybe adding a quarter of an inch to my height.  My wardrobe may be different, my ability to run across a parking lot instead of stand in front of a building and hail a cab has changed, but the race for which I’m running remains the same.

❤ DH

Update: February 2014
Life has changed ALOT since I wrote this post three years ago. Here’s the quick rundown:
•I gave birth to Mattie in December 2011
•Our family moved from Nashville, TN to Florence, KY in November 2012
•I am no longer working or on staff at a church and my volunteer availability has drastically changed.
•We welcomed Lucy in May 2013.

Wow! How determined and sure of myself I was in 2011. What the heck happened to that girl??

Did you read the bullet points? Yeah, two kids in 2 years happened. I would not change my blessings for absolutely anything. Having Mattie and Lucy has made me mom. That’s it. Mom. Not executive assistant to anyone, not director of any organization, not conference speaker, not published in the latest research journal. Mom.

So those beautifully written, thoughtful goals to love God, reach people and serve others is much, much more than that. It’s more than reading my Bible plan, sharing my story to minister to others and showing up every Sunday to teach a preschool ministry class.

Loving God is not a choice. It’s a daily necessity. It’s a desire. It’s desperate. Mom life is indescribable to even those closest and in the thick of it with me.

I found some words to help communicate to my husband how I was feeling. I kept landing at, “I am not back to normal yet. I don’t feel the same.” His response was I will never be normal again nor will I ever be the same, and he added, I will never be able to do what I did before.

Those are fighting words. I quickly wanted to jab and punch, and prove I would “do” just as much as before. (What I refer to as B.C. – Before Children).

The next morning I landed on 2 Corinthians 5:17 that basically said I was a new creation. I would never be the same. My new state of feeling uncomfortable was my new normal.

So do I still love God? Even more than ever. Do I need Him? Even closer than ever.

Reaching people has changed to reaching generations to come. I am raising two leaders. Two strong women. Two girls who have a destiny and purpose in them that will far surpass my hopes and dreams. As long as I allow Him to be close to them. As long as I allow Him to guide them. As long as I don’t get in the way of what I think is normal so they can achieve the unimaginable.

And serving? I make a true effort to serve my local church in a few ministries and meet needs if and when I am able. I struggle with not being able to do more. But I serve my children and my husband by caring for our home and all that falls under my domain so my husband can serve at a greater capacity to reach more people. We’ll see where my path continues and what opportunities I’ll have to serve and connect with others, but until then I’ll rest in knowing I’m not normal. It will be a long time before I’m in stilettos again.

I know God is going to continue working on me and through me until I leave this Earth (Philippians 1:6). So I’ll just keep walking, chasing, running in my Chuck Taylor’s.